Business Terms Explained - The Real Meaning
November 13, 2008
These days we hear the following terms thrown around like they’re going out of style. The real question, what do they “really” mean?
CEO –Chief Embezzlement Officer.
CFO– Corporate Fraud Officer.
BULL MARKET — A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius.
BEAR MARKET — A 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelry, and the husband gets no sex.
VALUE INVESTING — The art of buying low and selling lower.
P/E RATIO — The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market keeps crashing.
BROKER — What my broker has made me.
STANDARD & POOR — Your life in a nutshell.
STOCK ANALYST — Idiot who just downgraded your stock.
STOCK SPLIT — When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets equally between themselves.
FINANCIAL PLANNER — A guy whose phone has been disconnected.
MARKET CORRECTION — The day after you buy stocks.
CASH FLOW — The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet.
YAHOO — What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker for $240 per share.
WINDOWS — What you jump out of when you’re the sucker who bought Yahoo @ $240 per share.
INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR — Past year investor who’s now locked up in a nuthouse.
PROFIT — An archaic word no longer in use.
Ford’s key to controlling Teen drivers
October 7, 2008
Posted by Candace Lombardi on CNet
Ford Motor has found a new way for parents to keep teen drivers in check when they lend them the car, the company said Monday.
MyKey, a car key with a chip, can be programmed to curtail the top speed of its user to 80 mph.
The MyKey will come standard with the 2010 Focus coupe and eventually will be available on other Ford, Lincoln, and Mercury models, according to Ford.
In addition to implementing a speed limit, the key can be used to limit the volume of the car stereo system and emit a chime for six seconds every five minutes until the driver puts on a seatbelt.
MyKey can also be programmed to chime once each time the car reaches 45 mph, 55 mph, and 65 mph to alert young drivers about their acceleration.
Another feature, useful to anyone who fails to notice when the fuel light goes on, chimes when the car is 75 miles from empty. (The light on a Ford usually goes on at 50 miles to empty.)
Alarm Clocks - Now with Bacon
August 1, 2008
This new home appliance is aptly named the “Bacon Alarm Clock.” It cooks bacon before it wakes you. What you do is place pieces of frozen bacon into it and 10-minutes before the alarm rings it starts cooking the bacon.
Mmmm…waking to the smell of Maple bacon. Canadians rejoice as we now have the alarm clock that we’ve always wanted. Fat Americans can also rejoice about having multiple bypass surgeries before the age of 16.
Big Brother & The further loss of civil liberties
August 1, 2008
Thinking about taking your laptop across the border for your next trip up north or down south? News hitting the wires today indicates that you might want to re-think that plan, unless you feel like being separated from your precious gadgets. Apparently, border agents have given themselves the right to seize any piece of electronics equipment they feel like, even if they don’t think you’ve done anything wrong, and they can keep your toys for as long as they like.
This rule extends to your cell phone, Kindle, MP3 player, or any other information storing device you’ve taken along for the trip (even paper!). Agents can also make copies of any (or all) of your data to share with any other Federal agency — though they promise to delete it when they’re through. It was just over a month ago that everyone was up in arms about laptop searching at borders, and now this? We certainly hope that this particular infringement of our digital liberties won’t last long for long.
[Via: Switched]
The Acanac Online PC Experience - Really?!?!?!?
July 26, 2008
First, let’s take a look at the company!
From their Website:
“Acanac is the sister company of Canaca.com Inc one of Canada’s Largest
webhosting companies. Acanac takes the same principles brought to you by
Canaca, great service at a great value. Acanac provides cost effective Residential
and Business phone service at an affordable price. We also offer High speed DSL
and dial up access as well.We are truly a global communications company
connecting the world for less.
Acanac’s core value is to make sure that you the customer is served with the
utmost respect and professionalism. This is the reason that we are one of
the few companies that offer a unconditional money back guarantee.
We recognize that down time is not an option for your internet access and
that you deserve crystal clear Phone Service at all times. That’s why we
have invested heavily in hardware, and facilities this ensures that you, the
client is up and running on 24 hours a day seven days a week.”
My Experience Loathing with for Acanac
The Search for a VPS Begins - July 14th, 2008
Looking for a cost-effective way of hosting multiple websites I came across a company called Acanac. They are offering a Online PC (Virtual Private Server) with the following specs:
Price - $23.95/month (12-month)
Speed - 10mbps up/10mbps down
Static IP - 1
Bandwidth - 500GB
HDD Space - 100GB
RAM - 750Mb
Root Access - Yes
OS - Centos 5
Software Included with CentOS
(Standard with any lin box)
Firefox
KTorrent
Open Office
http streaming
ftp access
File Encryption
Gftp client
Games
IM
aizen Design