Where’s my 4GB of Ram? – In Vista

So, you just bought/made a new computer with 4GB of sweet sweet RAM but the installed OS (Vista 32-bit) only shows 3GB. What’s the deal?

If you run Vista 32-bit, there’s nothing that you can do about this issue. The reason stems from a decision made long before 4GB was even a feasible option. The name of this behaviour — Memory Mapped Input Output Reservations

A large chunk of memory is made available to System Hardware and can usually cost you 256mb to 1GB of your favourite volatile memory. Therefore it is inaccessible by your OS and you only “see” 2.75GB to 3.5GB.

If you run:

Windows 32-bit OS – The maximum amount of usable memory is 4GB unless you have a PAE equipped system

Windows 64-bit OS – The maximum amount of usable memory is between 8GB and 128GB, but accessibility depends on your chipset

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Misunderstandings – He said/She said

What it really means when she says:

Yes…………………………………..No
No……………………………………Yes
Maybe………………………………No
We need………………………….I want
I am sorry………………………..You’ll be sorry
We need to talk……………….You’re in trouble
Sure, go ahead………………..You better not
Do what you want……………You will pay for this later
I am not upset………………….Of course, I am upset, you moron!
You’re attentive tonight………Is sex all you ever think about?

What it really means when he says:

I am hungry……………………..I am hungry
I am tired…………………………I am tired
Nice dress………………………Nice cleavage!
I love you…………………………Let’s have sex now
I am bored………………………Do you want to have sex?
May I have this dance?………………..I’d like to have sex with you.
Can I call you sometime?……………I’d like to have sex with you.
Do you want to go to a movie?…….I’d like to have sex with you.
Can I take you out to dinner?……….I’d like to have sex with you.
I don’t think your shoes go with that outfit…………..I’m gay.

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FireFox – Rules to speed by – Broadband only!

Are you visiting countless web pages? Do they take forever to load? Well here’s a tip from Call for Help and I’m sure many other places too.

The following should only be used by people with broadband connections.

1.Type “about:config” into your Firefox address bar and hit return.

Find the following and edit as required:

network.http.pipelining
network.http.proxy.pipelining
network.http.pipelining.maxrequests

Normally the FireFox browser will make one request to a web page at a time. When you enable pipelining it will make several at once. This greatly increases your loading times.

2. Edit the entries like so:

Set “network.http.pipelining” to “true”

Set “network.http.proxy.pipelining” to “true”

Set “network.http.pipelining.maxrequests” to some number like 30. This means it will make 30 requests at once.

3. Finally, right-click on the page and select New-> Integer. It will ask you to name it, use this — “nglayout.initialpaint.delay” and set its value to “0″. This value is the amount of time the browser waits before it acts on information it recieves.

Your web pages should load much faster now.

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Hiring a Web Designer? Some tips to make them crazy!

I’ve been running a web design department for quite some time, and it’s quite easy to send me over the edge these days. It’s not because I hate the job, it’s not because the company or people are awful to work with. Nope, they’re actually super cool. The real problem is the fact that the customers have unrealistic expectations for what they pay for.
These tips will send your designer over the edge and possibly to the centre for addiction and mental health:

1. Tell your designer that you want a website that has the functions and design of MySpace, Facebook and YouTube — in one.
2. Ask for a discount (usually on their already rock-bottom prices). If you are an existing hosting customer, ask for free web hosting for a year! That’ll grind their noodle.
3. The designer or manager will ask you for your sites content before the project can begin. Make sure to tell them that you have everything prepared and ready-to-go even if you don’t. Once ready to send the content, send multiple emails each with a small piece of your content. There’s nothing more annoying then waiting for content in order to finish a website.
4. After you have agreed upon the initial contract/proposal ask for a quote minus a few of the options that you originally wanted.
5. Do not under any circumstances listen to the suggestions of your designer. They may know what’s best but what’s the fun in that.
6. If the designer or manager asks what you would like to be able to manage (edit/add) on the site yourself. Say that your site is going to have millions of visitors and that you’ll need to update all facets of the site.
7. A logo is one of the most important aspects of a website. When the designer asks for yours, send them a low-resolution image in *jpg format or send them a old business card.

At this point, if you were to try any other stunts the designer and manager would probably have to quit or end up like the guy in the above picture. Enjoy!

If you have any of your own, comment and we’ll place them as additional points.

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Vista Upgrade or not?

Vista Upgrade or not?

Microsoft Vista has some great enhancements and features. After all, it’s been a project in the making for several years. Of course with any new operating system release from Microsoft, there is always a warming period, or a certain amount of time that need to pass to allow the operating system to mature, and to get the bugs out so to speak. At that point, there are a number of patches and security fixes that are released in a service pack. Essentially a collection of these patches and fixes, all rolled up into one big download.

Usually, this warming period takes about a 6 months to a year, however with so many early adopters of the newest flagship software from Microsoft, that timeframe is quickly shortened.

Read more

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May Vista be with you!

May the Vista be with you!

Windows in all it’s versions eventually will die. The lifecycle of an operating system is designed that way. Just as the computer industry forces you to upgrade and update, so do the software manufacturers. The rumor is that Windows XP will not be supported by Microsoft by the end of this year. These are unsubstantiated, but nevertheless, the outcome is inevitable. This is nothing new. Windows 95, 98, 2000 and XP all have a lifespan of about 5 years from release to retirement. Some however, like Windows Millennium had even less of a lifespan. WinME is like the ugly duckling of Microsoft Operating Systems. Sweep it under the carpet and forget about it.

What does the term unsupported really mean? Well, it means that Microsoft will no longer release patches and fixes, nor support the product (for free) via their technical support lines, websites, and forums. You will be able to purchase support, and will of course be able to use 3^rd party services for support. Bottom line, if you have a problem with a driver, or a software conflict, you’re on your own to resolve it. There may be some exceptions to patches being released – if there are major security issues or events that warrant a patch. Microsoft of course will make those determinations on a case by case basis.

Read more

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Technical Support Attitude!

(part of an ongoing saga. See the previous articles, as well – here and here)

Just because you buy a PC form a certain manufacturer, that doesn’t entitle you to owning the tech. Owning – as in – I called tech support and Owned the tech, or The customer called me and I owned him – both examples do NOT apply. The only thing you own is the pc, nothing more, and not even the software on it. You are only allowed to use the software, you don’t own squat. Remember that the next time you call for technical support. And all you technicians out there in help desk land, you need to listen as well. You don’t have the right to be rude, or talk down to the customer no matter how much you may think they deserve it. You don’t own anything either – You both need each other! No tech = no support, No customer = nothing to support = no job.

Nothing turns a tech support call south than attitude, whether it’s the customer – either out of frustration, or a false sense of superiority, or the technician from a long day at the office, or inability to deal with newbies. Communicating technical support problems and solutions is not easy by any means. It takes a special knack to fix a problem without seeing it, and describing a problem to a technician when you’re not a technician. Try it sometime, as a test, maybe try telling your spouse of children how to make a sandwich over the phone, and give them every detail of how you want it made. Harder than you think!

Customers – Do not challenge the technician, let them initiate the call, and go through their procedures. They do this every day and are trained to deliver a speedy solution. Let the technician speak, and keep your answers to a minimum yes or no. The technician will take you through the steps to get you off and running as quick as he can.

If you do not agree with his solution, or feel that he has not completed the task, politely explain your concerns and continue the call. If you are polite and explain your concerns calmly, you will be able to work with them until the problem is resolved.

If the solution provided is not acceptable, or inadequate, again say so. If you have reached the end of the road, then ask to be escalated to 2^nd level support. Note that you cannot just haphazardly ask to be escalated. It’s like a get out of jail free card, use it wisely. Make sure you are entitled to the support you are requesting. Make sure the product you are having problems with is indeed covered under your support warranty.

No, Microsoft Office does not come with Windows! So forget about yelling at the PC manufacturer because they won’t support you for free. Call Microsoft.

Don’t even think about getting angry or name calling! Technicians have enough stress fixing problems, let alone social working. Want to end a call and get nowhere? Try raising your voice or calling a tech a name. And don’t think they don’t share information. They can easily put a note in your history that says rude, or irate, or that you name call. See what kind of support you get the next time you call. And you know what, You deserve it. You ever call your mechanic a name, how about your doctor? I think you get the point. Respect and love your tech! It’s all good!

Technicians – Not every caller is stupid, and they are people too. Try putting a smile on your face before you answer the call. Believe it or not you mood is transparent to callers, and a bad mood can turn a routine call into a supervisor’s glare in an instant. Your tone of voice can be misinterpreted and sound like you are a computer god – dictating to your minions. Vocal inflections, or worse yet a monotone voice will convey the no-care , I’m better than you attitude. You’re there for 8 hours, might as well relax and stay awhile.

Bored, feeling burnt out? Been on the same product queue for months, ask to be cross trained and breed some new life and interest into your tech support abilities.  If you know you’re going to be in this product queue for a while, find ways to make it interesting. Try to streamline the common answers. Think about the questions you often solve. Think about the questions and answers you ask the customer and find a way to improve the process. If you ask questions and the customer asks you to repeat it, then reword it.

If your call is too cold and stiff, try making light, talk about the weather, offer some friendly advice to avoid problems such as the customer is experiencing. Offer some links, or websites for reference – check with your  employer’s policies first though, make sure you’re not breaking any rules, or sending them to the competition!

If you don’t know the answer – say so. Don’t bother confusing the matter. Tell the customer you don’t know the answer, and try to find the answer. If you cannot, offer them some tips to finding it themselves. Or call them back with the information – again, if your company allows that practice.

Scripts – By now, you must have the caller greeting script permanently forged in your brain. Try changing it slightly to suit your personality. That can work wonders in your attitude and customer perceptions. You’re not a robot and we know that!

Let the man speak – by god man! We know its frustrating listening to a non technical person explain their problem. They get emotional and tell you everything except what you need to hear to fix the problem. Regardless, part of your job – admit it or not – is to counsel and advise. You have to help the customer as well as the problem they are experiencing. This takes a good ear, some compassion, and some patience! You never know who is on the other end of the phone. Respect the customer, and all is good!

Without customers, there are no jobs. And of course, we’re all someone else’s customer at some point.

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